My Mom and Dad's engagement picture
My baptismal day
Christmas 1999
Today it has been ten years since my dad suddenly passed away of a heart attack. I always have mixed feelings when January 11th comes around. To me in a lot of ways it is like my own personal 9/11; my 1/11. When the world completely changed for me and my family. It has been ten years since dad's been gone and in some ways it seems like yesterday. I look at my kids and at Mark's little baby and wonder what my dad would say and what kind of Grandpa would he be. Everytime I hold my babies for the first time and even when I held Mark's baby for the first time, I always think of my dad and that this baby just barely left him. It gives me so much comfort to know that even though my dad isn't here, he still knows what is going on and I know that he is still a big part of our lives. I am trying to kind of put together a life history, mostly comprised of just stories from those who knew him, so that my kids and my neices and nephews will know just what kind of person he was.
My dad was witty, he had a sense of humor that some people didn't quite understand. It was sometimes hard to tell if he was joking or serious. He liked to tease people. He told it like it is and would especially tell his brothers and sisters what he thought of decisions they made or had made and what he thought of where their life was heading. He was the oldest surviving child of 13 kids, so he had a lot of opinions. I recently found a notebook that my dad wrote in about my birth and he was very meticulous about Mom's contractions, how long they were, how frequent they were. He even woke down the comments people made about me and his first impressions of me when he first saw me. It was very funny to read and it will be something I will cherish forever. My dad was very mathematical, he was an Engineer and he would calculate the most random things. One of them being, he calculated if it was cheaper to leave a vehicle running if you were running into the house for a short moment or if it was better to turn the car off and then immediately back on when you came back. He was definitely a home-body, he didn't like to go many places other than work. His siblings always joke around that he only showed up for family occasions when it was time to eat and would leave shortly after. He loved his kids and he always called us "baby-doll", no matter if he was talking to the boys or me. He liked to have us lay in bed with him and brush his "hair". He was loosing most of it, and he told me that the more I brushed it, the more it would grow. So I would brush his hair and scratch his back, and he would have me walk on his back too. My dad was so cheap (frugal... whatever you wanted to call it) that it drove me crazy!! (And I married someone just like him!). He took us on vacation and would get mad when we would fight and threaten to leave us on the side of the road. I remember on a trip to Georgia, he had spilled gasoline on his pants and it stunk so bad we all got headaches. My dad was big, he was pretty built and the guys I hung out with were always scared of him. My dad was bishop when we were younger and even when I was eight he was my bishop and I remember him giving me my baptismal interview and speaking after I was baptized as my "bishop." He taught me how to catch a baseball and forgot I was left-handed, so he bought me a right-handed glove and that is how I learned to catch, so I now bat left-handed and catch right-handed. There are a lot of things I have forgotten that I wished I could remember about him. I remember always feeling sad for myself and my family because we were having to grow up without a dad, but now that I am a parent I am sad for him because he is missing out on all the things that are happening in our lives now. I know that he would be proud of all of us and for how my mom has raised us on her own. All of my brothers have/ or is serving missions for our church and three of the four of us have been married in the temple. (Jordan will once he comes home off his mission). My littlest baby, Landen is named after him and it is so funny or coincidental that Landen has my dad's ears. Even though I miss him tremendously, I know that we will see him again, and that is the greatest blessing I could ever ask for!
My dad was witty, he had a sense of humor that some people didn't quite understand. It was sometimes hard to tell if he was joking or serious. He liked to tease people. He told it like it is and would especially tell his brothers and sisters what he thought of decisions they made or had made and what he thought of where their life was heading. He was the oldest surviving child of 13 kids, so he had a lot of opinions. I recently found a notebook that my dad wrote in about my birth and he was very meticulous about Mom's contractions, how long they were, how frequent they were. He even woke down the comments people made about me and his first impressions of me when he first saw me. It was very funny to read and it will be something I will cherish forever. My dad was very mathematical, he was an Engineer and he would calculate the most random things. One of them being, he calculated if it was cheaper to leave a vehicle running if you were running into the house for a short moment or if it was better to turn the car off and then immediately back on when you came back. He was definitely a home-body, he didn't like to go many places other than work. His siblings always joke around that he only showed up for family occasions when it was time to eat and would leave shortly after. He loved his kids and he always called us "baby-doll", no matter if he was talking to the boys or me. He liked to have us lay in bed with him and brush his "hair". He was loosing most of it, and he told me that the more I brushed it, the more it would grow. So I would brush his hair and scratch his back, and he would have me walk on his back too. My dad was so cheap (frugal... whatever you wanted to call it) that it drove me crazy!! (And I married someone just like him!). He took us on vacation and would get mad when we would fight and threaten to leave us on the side of the road. I remember on a trip to Georgia, he had spilled gasoline on his pants and it stunk so bad we all got headaches. My dad was big, he was pretty built and the guys I hung out with were always scared of him. My dad was bishop when we were younger and even when I was eight he was my bishop and I remember him giving me my baptismal interview and speaking after I was baptized as my "bishop." He taught me how to catch a baseball and forgot I was left-handed, so he bought me a right-handed glove and that is how I learned to catch, so I now bat left-handed and catch right-handed. There are a lot of things I have forgotten that I wished I could remember about him. I remember always feeling sad for myself and my family because we were having to grow up without a dad, but now that I am a parent I am sad for him because he is missing out on all the things that are happening in our lives now. I know that he would be proud of all of us and for how my mom has raised us on her own. All of my brothers have/ or is serving missions for our church and three of the four of us have been married in the temple. (Jordan will once he comes home off his mission). My littlest baby, Landen is named after him and it is so funny or coincidental that Landen has my dad's ears. Even though I miss him tremendously, I know that we will see him again, and that is the greatest blessing I could ever ask for!
9 comments:
I love all of those pictures. I CANNOT believe how much your Dad and Brothers look alike. That is amazing.
Melissa --
I enjoyed your post. It's funny the things we remember as kids. Your post brought tears to my eyes, as I wondered what my kids would say about me, and what I have taught them. And I am guilty of offering to leave them at the side of the road if they can't get along in the car.
I believe too, that your dad has been taking care of the babies that are yet to join your family.
I have never met my dad's mother, but I can't wait to. She died before I was born. I am sure I knew her before I came to earth..
Thanks for sharing. :D
Melissa-
Ditto what Krissy said- I could see so much of your brothers in those pictures of your dad. That must be really neat for your mom (and you). I loved hearing about your dad. I'm so sorry you've had to miss out on having your dad all these years, but like you said, I'm especially sad for your dad. I'm sure he knows all about what everyone is up to, but it's sad he can't be here to enjoy his kids and grandkids now.
Thanks for taking time to do that post- it was nice to learn more about him.
Awwww Melissa!!! I can't stop crying!! I loved your dad to pieces! He was definitely a teaser! I remember when Katheryn played music in Primary and I led that we would sit on the couch out in the hall during Sharing Time. Joseph would sit with us sometimes and your dad would often walk by and say "Oh, is this the loser class?" "The loser class is in session again?" He was a mess! And frugal doesn't even begin to cover it! My mom said she went out on a date with him once (hey, she was a smart lady!) and she said when he asked her out he said "great, you bring the popcorn and I'll bring the koolaid." Wonder if they are having popcorn and koolaid while they watch over us?!! :)
What a sweet post...I have been thinking alot lately about what it will/would be like to lose someone really close to me, not really sure why. I see you, Garianne, Megi and Jamee and you are all such strong women and each of you have such a hold on proper perspective on life that I seem to so easily lose sight of. Thanks for sharing this.
I'm so glad you did this post. It's so good to read and remember him. Your kids will know him from what you tell them, so you are giving them a great gift by writing these things!
I loved hearing your testimony at church today. You are such an amazing person. Tomorrow will be a year since my grandpa died. I miss him. He wasn't just an old man........he was my dear friend and someone that I loved very much. I am glad my son carries his name and had the case to know him. I too, know just like you will be with your dad I will also be with my grandpa again.
Love-Jenn
Thanks for tears girl! Just like you, I too remember that day. I heard the news in the parking lot of the high school. It rocked everyone's world. He was way too young to go. But look at the legacy he left! Four wonderful children.... Plus you forgot to mention how unbelievably handsome he was!!!
Your mom talked about this post today in her testimony in relief society. So as soon as we got home, I wanted to see it. Somehow, I missed it. I love the pictures you have posted and the stories you shared. I loved your Dad because from the time I moved here he was always so kind and nice to me. Once he said to Joseph and I in the church hall, "Y'all are the best looking couple in the ward!" He always made me smile. We miss your dad too. I think it is great that you teach your children about the Grandpa they've never met and keep his memory alive. Thanks for sharing.
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